Derp Souls: Ultimate Rap Battles of Darkness
by OmegaKhaos
Summary: A rift between the Nexus and Lordan has sprung up! And all the inhabitants are in a rapping mood. What will happen? LETS FIND OUT! T for cursing and lewd language, you have been warned you scrubs.
1. Chosen Undead Vs Demon Slayer

Omega: As you can guess from the title, I have decided to do some rap battles for Dark Souls characters. I hope all of you enjoy and feel free to leave any suggestions in a PM or Review. Now to the announcer.

_**Beast: Welcome all of DKS fans, to the first Dark Souls rap battle competition! First up we have **_

_**The Chosen Undead! (Dark Souls)**_

_** VS.**_

_**The Demon Slayer! (Demon Souls)**_

_**BEGIN**_

**Demon Slayer:**

You're the new age boy,  
I'm the ORIGINAL!  
Yeah you are tough,  
But I started it all!

Slashing and Hacking,  
Since before you were born!  
I'm known all around,  
As the demon's scorn!

You get to win the first boss fight,  
Not right here!  
You're game is easy,  
That's plain and clear!

**Chosen Undead:**

Out with the old,  
In the with the new!  
I've killed Hollows,  
Stronger than you!

You wanna try easy?  
Go talk to Havel!  
Then there's that bitch Quelaag,  
Who turns ugly at her navel!

One more thing,  
Before you think you have it in the bag!  
Visit Blighttown,  
And tell me about the lag!

**Demon Slayer:**

Sure boss fights,  
are really a hassle.  
But don't get me started,  
On that Tower Knight asshole.

Big old shield,  
And long ass lance.  
He'll fuck you up,  
Like you never had a chance!

With your hands,  
You hold the fate of the Undead.  
Now stand back,  
Before I cut off your head!

**Chosen Undead:**

You threaten me with death?  
That's pretty funny.  
Last time I checked,  
You suck demon dick for money.

Based on your skill,  
You better be glad!  
That I don't introduce you,  
To Mr. Giantdad!

You think you're strong,  
You think you're tall.  
You killed one god,  
I killed them all!

**_WHO IS VICTORIOUS?  
_**

**_WHO WILL DUKE IT OUT NEXT?  
_**

**_YOU DECIDE! (Or the authors.)_**

Omega: I hope you all got plain and clear

**Khaos: Or my foot will be sticking out of ya rear!**


	2. Gwyn Vs Allant

Omega: Thanks to Mr. Earthscraper, we got some inspiration for today's rap battle match up. Now lets hand it off to our announcer!

**_Beast: Today we have,_**

**_Gwyn, Lord of Cinder!_**

**_AND_**

**_Allant, King of Boletaria!_**

**_BEGIN!_**

* * *

**Gwyn**

So you're the king of land long forgotten.  
Cause all I see is a soul black and rotten.  
I live in Lordan, Land of the Lords.  
You ruined everything over some stupid sword!

I'll turn you to ash and have the knights sweep you up!  
Then I'll bring you back to life and feed you to Sif as a pup!  
I don't think it was a sword that changed your world view.  
You had a knight called the Penetrator, now what did he do?

I burn forever for the sake of all.  
Your lust for power led to your kingdom's fall.  
I still have my two sons, so my legacy ain't lost.  
You're nothing but a bad excuse for a final boss!

**Allant**

Wanna talk about fucked families? Don't look at me!  
I raised my kid right, you fucked up your three!  
You disowned your firstborn over a piece of paper!  
Then your second, you even let a dragon rape her  
And with the way you raised your third son.  
It's no wonder he turned out to be the gay one!

To new players, your fight is something to be feared.  
But once you know the strategy, its about as scraggly as your beard.  
They say you hit hard when you're cracking skulls.  
that won't be the case once i knock you down a few le-vels.

My three knights were protecting me.  
Not out chasing a little fantasy.  
You left yours to defend your land.  
Now your best is in Manus's hands.

**Gwyn**

I fought in a war till the last breath.  
You brought on a plague of nothing but death.  
Locked your Magicians away in some crummy towers.  
Who knows what those officials did after hours.

I destroyed the Dragons, you're completely infested!  
I don't think that last verse was properly digested.  
I'll nip your little power trip right in the butt.  
Now tell me how is it in the Old One's Gut

But I gotta give ya props,  
Man that was hella tight.  
You took on your pops,  
Now how was that fight?

**Allant**

This sword is proof enough.  
My father ain't tough.  
Let me show you my stuff.  
When the going gets rough.

Out of my way before you're cleaved in two.  
Like that foolish Demon Slayer.  
(DS: HEY FUCK YOU TOO!)

At the end of this fight.  
When the demons sing.  
Bitch get outta my way.  
Because I'm the king!

* * *

**_Who won?_**

**_Who's next?_**

**_YOU CHOOSE!(or the authors.)_**

Omega: So that raps it up  
**Khaos: Hope you ain't had Enough.  
**Omega: Writing this was kinda tough  
_**Beast: GG gitgud Scrub**_


End file.
